I'm actually pretty lonely.

x

I'm sure a lot of people know how it feels to just sit there and not know what to do while your cousins/mom/dad/whofuckever bustles around doing crap and you feel like shit because you don't know what the fuck to help with.

And the stupidest thing is when you do try to help, they just shoot you down by saying "You're seriously bad at this".

Well sorry for getting in the way. Why do you think I don't help most of the time? WTF. It's like wanting one thing and the other. Don't fucking judge me.

Don't judge me.

I don't even know what's worse - being labeled incompetent or being labeled useless.

I fucking hate being the eldest girl in the family. I fucking hate being a girl, period. It's like a shitload of stupid expectations like being good with the knife, or something. Prejudice is so fucking dumb.

Labels: deep and meaningful, emo post

You know, sometimes, if you like speak with people, you eventually pick up their speech styles one way or another. It goes the same with me.

For example, maybe people don't notice this, but with Karina and Dahlia, I go into a totally different speech style. Same with Ezmin, I switch to high pitch. (It's practically the same as like talking about anything to do with Aizen-sama mylove.) When I'm with Farid or like the other Malay kids, I switch to more bahasa pasar. Dowh.

It just happens.

And, I'm like tired, because I've recently been taking naps at like, 6.30 PM. I wake up at 8.00 PM. Go figure. This time, I woke up at 9.00 PM. Woot, congratulations. So I haven't eaten dinner yet.

That's all, I guess. I really have nothing else to say today.

Labels: blather, deep and meaningful

When I started typing this thing. Well, I learned a few things about sharing the computer room with my cousin. There are advantages and disadvantages to this. Well, first off, being the very shy person I am who cares about my privacy so goddamned much, I feel like biting his head off.

• I can't read what I waaaaaant. Whiiiiine.
• Not to mention the little things like 'OMFG, what if he's reading this right now D:'

Yeah, I have issues with people looking at what I'm writing when I don't want them to or when people just come by and say 'omfg lol can I see that'? No. No, you can't, because I don't you to fucking know about it. I don't care if you think I'm a fucking stingy bastard, but the bottom line is this - if I don't want you to know about it, then I don't want you to know about it.

It's not being mean or anything... I just have this phobia surrounding it. I don't even know if it's completely reasonable to have an unreasonable fear like this towards my privacy - uh. I think I just answered my own question.

Life's going slow. I think I should get a move on with studying because I really can't afford to skip out on my syllabus. I think, this is what is means to have the right mentality. It's maturity, baby!

By the way, maturity is just a break from puberty. At the age of 40, we're gonna become insecure, emotional and etc again. 8D Yep.

In school, nothing's much happening except the fact that some people now know that I have a certain obsession over DDR. Every single time that game is around - I just love playing it, man. It's really cool. If I have a DDR mat at home, I'm probably gonna play with it all day long and I'll probably be able to pwn everyone in time in hardcore. Yeah, baby.

Syazali can't stop commenting about it (or however you spell the stupid guy's name). Just drop it, lmfao.

Drawing/Manga:

I can't get anything in my head. Wtf.

Yes! My cousin left the room! I can take a sneak peek at Viewfinder! (Currently at Vol. 4, Chp. 3, I think, pg 18. I bookmarked it.)

No! GO back to where you came from! Nooooo.

Well, that's all for today, I think.

Signing out.

Btw, it's 7:45 PM. So I take about 10 mins writing a post. That's way too long...

Labels: blather, deep and meaningful, wtf, yaoi